Messages, tips and chat etiquette

On Sweetly you can talk to performers in two places: privately, in Messages, and publicly, in the live show chat. Here’s how to use them, how to send a tip and the few rules that make the chat pleasant for everyone.

Messaging a performer privately

You have two ways:

• from the performer’s profile, with the message button (Send a message);
• from the Messages page, with New message: search for the performer by username and open the conversation.

Sending a message doesn’t cost tokens. Each message can be up to 4,000 characters long. When the performer is typing you see it at the top of the conversation, and Online tells you whether she’s connected.

When you can’t message her

Some performers only receive messages from people who have a relationship with them. If you see one of these notices, here’s what it means:

Priority messages

With some Fan Club levels your messages become priority: they go to the top of the performer’s inbox, with a mark that sets them apart. It’s the surest way to be read first.

Organising your conversations

For each conversation you can:

• Pin to top, to keep it at the top of the list;
• Mute, to stop getting notifications from that chat;
• Archive, to move it out of your active conversations: you’ll find it under Archived and bring it back with Remove from archive.

Next to every message there’s also Report this message, if something’s wrong.

Sending a tip

A tip is a gift in tokens to the performer, and it all goes to her, minus the platform commission. You can send it in two ways.

• From her profile, with the tip button: choose the amount, add a message if you like — only she reads it — and press Send the tip.
• During a live show, with the Tip button in the player. The quick amounts are 10, 20, 50, 100 or 500 tokens, or choose Other and type the amount. The chat shows “sent a tip of…”, and if there’s a goal the bar moves forward.

A tip can’t be refunded: once sent, it has already reached the performer. Check the amount before confirming.

Etiquette: the chat rules

Performers are people at work. These rules apply privately and publicly, and following them is the best way to get replies and attention.

• Respect her limits. If the performer says no to a request, it’s no. Read the room rules pinned at the top of the live chat.
• No pressure for meetings or outside contact. Asking for phone numbers, addresses or private profiles makes people uncomfortable and often breaks the rules.
• No payments outside Sweetly. Asking for or offering bank transfers, gift cards or crypto outside the platform is forbidden by the Terms: it doesn’t protect you if something goes wrong, and it’s the trick scammers use most.
• No prohibited content. No requests involving minors, violence, non-consensual acts or anything else prohibited by law. Such requests lead to the account being closed.
• Respect other viewers. In the public chat, no insults, spam or repeated messages.

What happens to people who don’t follow them

In the live chat the performer can mute you for a minute; on the third mute you’re blocked from her chat automatically. She can also block you from the chat directly: in that case you’ll read You can't write in this chat anymore, and staff receive a report they can review. In the most serious cases staff can suspend your chat across the whole site (Chat suspended) or the entire account.

Frequently asked questions

Does messaging a performer cost anything?

No, private messages don’t cost tokens. Some performers only receive messages from their Fans or from people who’ve already bought something of theirs.

Can I send a tip in a private message?

Tips are sent from the performer’s profile or during a live show. From the profile you can add a message only she reads.

Why can’t I write in a live show chat anymore?

The performer has blocked you from her chat, or muted you for the third time. It only applies to that chat; staff have received a report and can review the decision.

Can the performer see how much I’ve spent with her?

Yes. If you follow her, her followers list shows the total you’ve spent with her; during live shows she sees an indicative band of your balance, for example “over 500 tokens”. All the details are in Privacy and safety for viewers.